Monday, February 20, 2012

8 Facebook statuses I’ll never understand.


This article is basically about what status people put up these days on this popular and overrated social networking platform.
So the status means what you feel and want to tell the world, at the same time, what the world wants to know, and a part which people generally tend to skip. Have a look.
1) Shocking thing, i still can’t believe it happened! Comment: what?? Reply: sorry, can’t tell on fb. Then why the hell did you tell it on the first place!
2) Thanks XYZ for being in my life, i love youuuuuu! Isn’t there an option called wall post or private messaging on Facebook!!
3) I enjoyed so much today..Thank you ramesh and suresh for a lovely time. Now that is a complete double meaning status. By a girl, it means a question..was there a threesome?? And by a boy… boy! Don’t even ask!
4) I hate justinbeiber. We all do, but guess what, he’s rich, he has a girlfriend better than yours and he’s more famous than you ever will be. So face it and don’t show what a loser you’re publically.
5) I think Sachin should retire. Frankly, neither bcci nor Sachin is reading that. Such statuses only tell how much misused a Facebook status can be!
6) Your cousin/mom/brother/father/sister is the first one to do blah blah and it’s a week to celebrate love and followed by another 400 characters. Really!! You really think people read that. All they do is to like and that too because you’re a hot girl and he’s a despo.
7)A song. Yes, people putting songs as their status. You know when kapilsibbal said he would filter Facebook updates, he said it because he was tired of reading “tu hi merishabhai” and “tujhebhuladiya” as people’s status. How irritating it can be. Especially when your ex updates “I’m in love” as her status! (no more questions please.)
8)Spam!! Yes, i saved the best for the last. “Check out who deleted you” and “see who visits your profile” such statuses have crapped my timeline many times. Why would you even click on such links at the first place? People never understand and this makes me want to, well, log out!!
So these were the 8 statuses i think shouldn’t be there or should be completely banned on fb. I know there’s more. Like the photos, the likes, the viral links and the weird troll updates, etc. Anyways, don’t forget to hit ‘Like’  :)

Alternative Careers for Bollywood Actors


“What would you be if not a star?” is probably the most common question that are asked to actors. Here is a list of alternative career options for the following bollywood actors :
ritesh deshmukh girl 1.Ritesh Deshmukh: Makeover consultant- after looking better as a female in his drag role, women would take his advise very seriously. Maybe men would too, if they aspired to be drag queens.
2.Kareena Kapoor: Genealogist-just tracking the various branches of her own family would keep her busy.
3.Abhishek Bachchan: Abhishek might take up anything in his life but would still fail. The only career alternative I’d like to offer Abhishek is to become Mr. India and go invisible.
4.Amrita Arora: Full time house-wife. It seems like she has already found her dream job which certainly was not acting.
anil kapoor chest hair5.Anil Kapoor: Hair-Transplant surgeon/donor. You know exactly what i’m talking about here.

6.Ram Gopal Verma:  Ram Gopal Verma’s icing on all the disasters! If ‘RGV Ki Aag’ went up in flames, Nisha (Priyanka) Kothari is the one who left the ‘gas’ on!  Unfortunately there are no career alternatives for Ram Gopal Verma. I just hope he retires soon.
sunny muscles7.Sunny Deol: I’ve been told Sunny Paaji lifts a tractor every morning to flex his biceps. Well with that dhai kilo ka haath, never too late to be a WWF wrestler.

8.Vivek Oberoi: Organizing acting workshops. He says he is a great actor and thinks he has proved it in some of his previous films. Maybe he should show his acting workshop students PRINCE and then we’ll see how his workshop goes.
9.Tusshar Kapoor: This guy should start acting in t.v serials. Even though I liked his role in Golmaal, I don’t think there are many roles out there where you aren’t supposed to speak in the entire movie. Solution? small screen. Didi Ekta kapoor to the rescue again!
10.Bobby Deol: Soldier. Don’t ask me why.
rakhi sawant 11.Rakhi Sawant:  PR- expert. If someone like Rakhi Sawant can make money by advertising herself all the time, then I guess anything is possible in life.
12.Suniel Shetty: Waiter in a south-indian restaurant. I think this is the perfect job for him. He is already used to being called ‘Anna‘ and besides that, he is ‘Chaubees Ghante Chaukanna’ which fits the job requirement perfectly.

Friday, February 17, 2012

“Not a Miracle: Yes, you can produce a Girl or Boy at your own wish.”


“Not a Miracle: Yes, you can produce a Girl or Boy at your own wish.”

(A Proposal to Develop A Technique)

- developed by 
ARUN KUMAR UPADHYAY
proposed before DBT, Ministry of Science

INTRODUCTION :
Since the evolution of human population and societies it is quite interesting to see the ups and downs in male and female dominating nature of society. In due course of time we have attained such a level of cruelty that we actually started to kill our own children (especially girl child). This is a natural instinct of a living organism to have attraction and affection for a particular sex for various reasons. Same thing persists in the case of offspring’s. Every individual have a desire of producing a child of a particular sex. But still this is an unaddressed question how to give birth to a male or a female child according to our wish.
We are here with such a plan which will surely be able to address this problem of society by helping couples out of such problems.
Novelty of the Idea :
In our country (and obviously in other parts of the world) this is a burning question before the authorities how to prevent incidents like female feticides. Since no proper rules are there on the dice and implementation of such rules by our governments  even seems closer to impossible we strongly suggest to have some methods or kits for families and couples so that in future they don’t face questions like ’should they allow their little girl child in the womb to come on Earth? ’ These questions are nothing more than a black spot on the face of our most evolved society of the history of human evolution (as we often boast).
Such problems need to be strongly addressed by scientist communities and policy makers so that not even a single child is killed just because she is a girl.
So we are presenting a multistep full proof methodology to produce a child of desired sex. Differences in average life, DNA and energy content  and speed of travel inside the vagina, these differences in the properties of male and female sperms can be exploited in developing a plan which can make it possible to conceive a child of desired sex. 


Competitive Analysis and Market Potential:
There is no reason to question about potential of this plan because this is such a big issue that government shouldn’t have any reason for delaying approval and funding for such a noble cause. And healthcare sector companies can do even better by manufacturing ovulation kits and many other products which will assist in implementation of the program. Hospitals can establish a separate department to deal such cases. We also assure you that once this comes into practice many problems will get addressed single handedly. Since this is a plan, which is directly related to every individual no need to bother about its success in market.

Commercialization Potential:
I have done a survey and found that more than 90 % individuals are interested in producing a child of desired sex. Since this is a problem of you and me. Everybody wants to have his child number one to be a boy or a girl and similarly for child number two, three and so on…... But the question is whether it is so simple to implement a properly designed plan inside a society where more than half are uneducated.
Another problem is a section of society which claim to be ethicist .They may raise the issues of the rights of embryos. So it will also be a challenge to convince them.
If these two obstacles are solved then no doubt it will bring a new revolution in healthcare industry. To make a more effective plan health sector companies should focus on developing cheaper techniques for sperm sorting. The pharma companies must focus on manufacturing cream and gels, which will provide optimum acidic (5.5) and alkaline (9.0) pH for female and male sperms respectively.
Other techniques like saliva microscopes that detect estrogen surge, urine ovulation tests  that detect LH surge, high-tech fertility monitors that focus on both of these hormones and bbt thermometer to check basal temperatures which tells when a lady ovulate every month. Thus lady can pinpoint her ovulation date to reach reasonable accuracy level.
Since these kits are already present in market, we need to compile them in a compact and 100% accurate ovulation kit, having all these features. Government must establish centers for people to understand their ovarian cycle and accordingly provide  assistance in deciding date, time and best positions for sexual intercourse. 
Although many unsuccessful attempts were made in many parts of the globe by many scientists, we firmly believe that our plan will surely help in eradicating evils like female feticide from the society……

ATTITUDE


ATTITUDE
By: ARUN KUMAR UPADHYAY 

Chandu is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Chandu was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Chandu was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Chandu and asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Chandu replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to me, Chandu, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life. "Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Chandu said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life." I reflected on what Chandu said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Chandu did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gun point by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Chandu was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Chandu was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Chandu about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Chandu replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Chandu continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action." “What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Chandu. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'" Chandu lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

The Great Dictator


The Great Dictator
- (Feb 18, 2012)

I'm sorry but I don't want to be an Emperor.  That's not my business.  I don't want to rule or conquer anyone.  

I should like to help everyone if possible. We all want to help one another -- human beings are like that.  We all want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone and the earth is rich and can provide for everyone.

The way of life can be free and beautiful.  But we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed.  We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in: machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little: more than machinery we need humanity; more than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me I say, "Do not despair".

The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress.  The hate of men will pass and the power they took from the people will return to the people and liberty will never perish.

In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written, "The kingdom of God is within man."  Not one man, nor a group of men, but in all men -- in you, the people.

You the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy let's use that power.  Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give you the future and old age and security.  Let us fight to free the world, to do away with national barriers, do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness.  Let us all unite!

Look up.  The clouds are lifting, the sun is breaking through. We are coming out of the darkness into the light.   The soul of man has been given wings, and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow - into the light of hope - into the future, that glorious future that belongs to you, to me and to all of us. Look up. Look up!